Thursday, March 12, 2015

Becoming A Mother

                                                   image source :
This story came to my inbox today. I read Mr.Mehera's news letter as they are all soul satisfying. But today's post is an eye opener. Can't resist to share it with all my friends reading my blog as it will help many if followed. In today's competitive race people fail to understand that at the end they have to deal not with the degrees of their kids but they as a human.Please read the full story and think on.

              STORY OF A MOTHER'S CURSE - By Vijay Mehera
 Recently, I have visited a friend's father in an old age home. There I met a lady, around 74 years old, who reminded me of my mother. I introduced myself. & we talked for few minutes. Then, without any provocation, she started cursing her son & daughter. "Uday, you have come to see your friend's father but my children, those %@#%$, never cared for me. They ditched me here like an ugly decayed old dog..."she was cursing & shouting so loud. And the beauty of the words she used would create envy in even among parliamentarians in India. I have never ever heard such gutter adjectives that she used to address her son & daughter - horrible! I could imagine her pain, anger, hatred & alienation. I understood that her son is an engineer and daughter is a medical doctor. They have never come to see her. And she is living on her pension.
"Please don’t curse your children, mother..." I said."Both of them are living in huge bungalows with children & servants. They spent lot of money on poojas & rituals too....But they can't spend a minute or a paisa for me “she continued cursing them...
Apparently, she is disillusioned, depressed, frustrated & carrying lot of negative emotions. A tragic situation indeed. Barring the emotional outburst, we fail to see some basic factors that point to bitter truth in life."May I ask you a few questions, mother?"
"You have given birth to your children with part of your own body. You have nurtured them well. You have provided them with nutritious food & nourished them..."
"Yes...yes...most of the times, I was starving to feed them...Since my husband was not earning well, we were living on my petty salary then..."
"You took care of their body so now they have a good and healthy body..."
"Yes - but my curse will finish off their health, their body will decay..." she scolded.
"Now, my question is, you took care of the body, but what about their mind? What did you do for their mind? Did you teach them any value based knowledge? Did you teach them your traditions, customs, rituals, culture and its significance? Did you read them our puranas (spiritual Indian literature)& itihas (history)?"
 "Who had time for that? I was busy to make both ends meet...I was starving, but I wanted to see them as an engineer or doctor...I wanted to see the society respects my children."
"So, your wishes are fulfilled and then what are you complaining about?" She looked at me with a blank face.
"You taught your daughter MBBS - she became doctor. You send your son to study BTech & he became an engineer. Those are very good positions in your society...You should be happy. You taught them to be competitive & selfish...Fair enough.
But how will they learn what you didn't teach them? Did you teach them any values in life?
Where will they learn from that they should take care of parents?"
 "But...they should...right? I have sacrificed my life...I starved..."
"Mother, you made two mistakes - one, you were irresponsible to your own body & mind.
When you starve, trillions of living beings inside your body will starve, have you ever thought about it? It is a self-violence. What about the curse of your own body cells?
 Second: you were sub-consciously deriving pleasure from this concept: "even if I starve, I fed my kids". So you already got your contentment &happiness.
Your wish was to make them professionals & earn respect in the society - it was also fulfilled..." She didn't have answer.
"Have you sought your kids’ permission before bringing them into this world? Did they request you to take them to this world? If you give them good body, it was your dharma to give them good mind too?" How Rajmata Jijabai did brought her son Shivaji up? Jijabai told him the tales of Ram, Krishna, Hanuman, Yudhistira, Bheem, Sibi etc - fighting the injustice, being truthful, humane and freeing of people from tyranny. These stories made Shivaji the great. He respected women and his mother. On the contrary, how did his arch-enemy Aurangzeb was brought up by his mother? She made a demon out of a man. He imprisoned his own father Shah Jahan & assaulted women & auctioned them. He was trading Indian women as slaves.
"But...I was ignorant about such things..." she said.
Ignorance of karmic laws is NOT an excuse; each & every karma will have its cause and effects. Abdul Kalam was brought up by his mother in poverty - he became India's most-respected president. On the contrary, Adolf Hitler was also brought up in poverty by his mother. See the difference!
"Mother, I am sorry to say, but you got what you deserve. You are responsible for your karma and hence the result" "But the struggle I underwent for them? The miseries & hardship I suffered for bringing them up?"
"Mother, everybody feeds their children. But you should have provided them something else too. Have you shown them or let them experience poverty, miseries & hardship?
You wanted to experience it for yourself in the name of love to children... Then how do you expect them to know your troubles?
You spent lot of money to make them professionals. Did you spend a single penny to make them a good human being?
You have taught them that life is all about tuition or scoring highest marks in the exams and competition items like dance and songs. Did you ever take them to a cancer ward in the hospital? Did you ever take them to an orphanage? Did you make them understand sufferings of old-age people? Where do you expect them to learn such things, mother? From reality shows? Commercials? Television series? If they think that life is about self-centered enjoyment, who is responsible for that life style?"
"But don't they know the meaning of "Mathrudevo bhava" & " she murmured something "Mother, Mathrudevo bhava means, get yourself elevated to the position of the God, not that your demand your children to respect you as God...” I said. She didn't utter a single word.
Tears rolled out of her eyes. I felt I was exceeding the limit. But somebody should tell it to her. It is for her own good. She should stop producing more negativity & hatred. She should take up the responsibility of what had happened to her. That will make her think. And I am sure that she will find solace.
There was nothing else I could do in such situation. "I am really sorry mother...Please forgive me if I have said something that hurt you..." "No my son, you have opened my eyes...I think I am realising your points..." "And please stop calling your son, 'son of a bitch' - in fact you are scolding yourself here. Let me assure you, your son & daughter are not going to escape from the results of their bad karma. They will get it back from their children. Then, they may repent. That point of time, they may understand the sacrifice of their parents.... So, just pray for them, instead of cursing them..." I said.

Be Happy. God Bless.

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